Russell Peters – Outsourced

We’ve all had exchanges where we came up with the perfect reply — ten minutes too late. Write down one of those, but this time, make sure to sign off with your grand slam (unused) zinger.

You can tell by when an Asian group is speaking English. That’s how you can tell where they’re from. I’ll give you an example:

Vietnamese people, you can tell when they’re speaking English or even tell in Vietnamese ’cause when they speak English, they speak it really fast- like they know it! And they end up speaking so fast that it ends up sounding like Vietnamese all over again.

I got cussed out by this Vietnamese guy. This is what he says to me. He goes, “FUCK YOU GAY YOU FUCKIN’ BLOWJOB!”

He called me a ‘Fuckin’ Blowjob’! Have you ever been called a blowjob before? Do you realise that if somebody calls you a blowjob there is not one good comeback. There’s nothing you can say that would sound cool.

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